Gratitude

I really was planning on completing my gratitude for every day list. Then life happened. My poor little bloggy was ignored. I was sad and tired and ready to throw in the towel on life. Sometimes life does that to you. It makes you forget to look at your blessings.

Does this happen to anyone else? Life sends you into a downward spiral that you feel completely unable to control? I must be a control freak of sorts because I don't function well when I can't control the world around me...more specifically people around me.

I had a glimpse into that happy, sunny life that I usually live every day of my life. That life that has had a little black rain cloud blocking it. I needed a glimpse of that sunshine. Because of that, I do feel a need to count my blessings and share what I am grateful for.

First, I am grateful for fantastic friends. One who knows my life better than I know it myself. We always joke that only one of us can have a bad day at a time. She has been willing to put her bad days on hold for a bit so that I can have a shoulder to cry on. She gets me. She doesn't judge and doesn't make me feel small when my world comes crashing down. She supports and loves me and is so unconditional with her friendship. Another is a silent friend. She and I are more alike than I ever knew. I feel a kinship with her. She has endured and thrived in similar trials to mine and she is so wise. Her wisdom and candor and strength came to me when I needed it most and she will never know the depth of gratitude I feel towards her.

I am grateful for my mom and sisters. They listen without judging and I know that my life and my sorrows and joys are safe in their hands. We played today. We ate, we laughed, we smiled, we shared...well...mostly I shared. They listened. I gained some fantastic insights into my world that I never had before. Things I hadn't realized. There is a shared time in our lives. That is precious to me. I know they get what I am going through. I needed that.

I am grateful for womanhood. For this bond we have as sisters. For the way we have to strengthen each other through our trials and our sorrows. For the excitement and joy we feel for each other when we succeed and triumph. I am grateful that as women we stand together to make each other better and stronger.


I am grateful for my life-companion. His support is my world. His joys are my joys. His sorrows are my sorrows. He shows such love for our children. His absolute tenderness when he holds our baby. His laughter when he sees our children's antics. He takes such care to make sure our needs are met. I love him. He is a good man.

I am grateful for tears and for sorrow. Without them I would never know true joy. I would never know the path that leads to joy is worth the journey.

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father. At time I struggle with my spirituality, but there are some things I can't deny. I have felt my Father in Heavens arms around me. I feel his presence in my life. I feel his promptings as I complete my day-to-day tasks. His miracles are around me everywhere. I see them in my marriage. I see them when I look into my children's eyes. I see them in the daily answers to my prayers.

As hard as they can be, I am grateful for life experiences. Those things that put a weight on my chest and make me feel like I can't breathe, ironically make me stronger. My life, my ideals, how I deal with people and situations change. Those life experiences change me...mature me somehow. After a particularly hard trial...one that I wouldn't wish on another soul...my husband's uncle said to me "Something about you has changed. Something in your soul. I can feel it. You are a better person because of it." He had no idea what I had been through. He had no idea of the problems I had faced. There was so much validity in his statement. I was different. I felt it in how I looked at the world. It was a sunnier and brighter place. A world where I had allowed forgiveness to enter in and consume me.

I am thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed me with a forgiving heart. It wasn't something I was born with, but I had to earn it. I had to learn it. I had to let it change me. That has been by far the most amazing and complete blessing I have had in my life. The ability to see beyond the present hurts and recognize that we are all human and are subject to human foibles and to see past the shortness of a situation has enabled me to overcome so many things. I can't hold grudges because of it. I forgive those who hurt me. I don't get as hurt in the first place. I hold this tender blessing so close.

Most of all today I am grateful for hope. Hope that things will get better. Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope that hearts will be softened. Hope that the sunshine will come through the clouds.