11.14.2008

Gratitude

I really was planning on completing my gratitude for every day list. Then life happened. My poor little bloggy was ignored. I was sad and tired and ready to throw in the towel on life. Sometimes life does that to you. It makes you forget to look at your blessings.

Does this happen to anyone else? Life sends you into a downward spiral that you feel completely unable to control? I must be a control freak of sorts because I don't function well when I can't control the world around me...more specifically people around me.

I had a glimpse into that happy, sunny life that I usually live every day of my life. That life that has had a little black rain cloud blocking it. I needed a glimpse of that sunshine. Because of that, I do feel a need to count my blessings and share what I am grateful for.

First, I am grateful for fantastic friends. One who knows my life better than I know it myself. We always joke that only one of us can have a bad day at a time. She has been willing to put her bad days on hold for a bit so that I can have a shoulder to cry on. She gets me. She doesn't judge and doesn't make me feel small when my world comes crashing down. She supports and loves me and is so unconditional with her friendship. Another is a silent friend. She and I are more alike than I ever knew. I feel a kinship with her. She has endured and thrived in similar trials to mine and she is so wise. Her wisdom and candor and strength came to me when I needed it most and she will never know the depth of gratitude I feel towards her.

I am grateful for my mom and sisters. They listen without judging and I know that my life and my sorrows and joys are safe in their hands. We played today. We ate, we laughed, we smiled, we shared...well...mostly I shared. They listened. I gained some fantastic insights into my world that I never had before. Things I hadn't realized. There is a shared time in our lives. That is precious to me. I know they get what I am going through. I needed that.

I am grateful for womanhood. For this bond we have as sisters. For the way we have to strengthen each other through our trials and our sorrows. For the excitement and joy we feel for each other when we succeed and triumph. I am grateful that as women we stand together to make each other better and stronger.


I am grateful for my life-companion. His support is my world. His joys are my joys. His sorrows are my sorrows. He shows such love for our children. His absolute tenderness when he holds our baby. His laughter when he sees our children's antics. He takes such care to make sure our needs are met. I love him. He is a good man.

I am grateful for tears and for sorrow. Without them I would never know true joy. I would never know the path that leads to joy is worth the journey.

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father. At time I struggle with my spirituality, but there are some things I can't deny. I have felt my Father in Heavens arms around me. I feel his presence in my life. I feel his promptings as I complete my day-to-day tasks. His miracles are around me everywhere. I see them in my marriage. I see them when I look into my children's eyes. I see them in the daily answers to my prayers.

As hard as they can be, I am grateful for life experiences. Those things that put a weight on my chest and make me feel like I can't breathe, ironically make me stronger. My life, my ideals, how I deal with people and situations change. Those life experiences change me...mature me somehow. After a particularly hard trial...one that I wouldn't wish on another soul...my husband's uncle said to me "Something about you has changed. Something in your soul. I can feel it. You are a better person because of it." He had no idea what I had been through. He had no idea of the problems I had faced. There was so much validity in his statement. I was different. I felt it in how I looked at the world. It was a sunnier and brighter place. A world where I had allowed forgiveness to enter in and consume me.

I am thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed me with a forgiving heart. It wasn't something I was born with, but I had to earn it. I had to learn it. I had to let it change me. That has been by far the most amazing and complete blessing I have had in my life. The ability to see beyond the present hurts and recognize that we are all human and are subject to human foibles and to see past the shortness of a situation has enabled me to overcome so many things. I can't hold grudges because of it. I forgive those who hurt me. I don't get as hurt in the first place. I hold this tender blessing so close.

Most of all today I am grateful for hope. Hope that things will get better. Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope that hearts will be softened. Hope that the sunshine will come through the clouds.

16 comments:

mammagena said...

Sending prayers your way. There is a reason why the Bible tells us to "Count our blessings". They do let us know that God has been with us. Having a forgiving heart is an incredible gift. Not many people can forgive AND FORGET! You are sweet. I love your honesty and reading your blog. It somehow lifts my spirit, too. Hugs from MI Ü

Andrea said...

I hope things look up for you! It's easy to let life in general get you down. Isn't it strange how things seem to snowball, and then one day they just seem better?

Hugs from across the pond :) I'm having a blah weekend-but I'm blaming it on the gloomy weather. At least I don't have to be accountable for it....

Amy said...

What a great post!! I think I shall list more blessings on my blog. I did a post about them a while bsck, but you can never had too many. Love the new header of your blog! Very cute, did you do it yourself?

Char said...

Huge (((HUGS)))!

I've been thinking about you a lot.

Hang in there!

ellen said...

Thanks for sharing that post. :)

M.L. @ The House of Whimsy said...

Gratitude in itself can perform miracles. Kuddos to you for remembering them.
I enjoyed looking over your Site. I saw the couch, and home fabrics we have in common. And your little Cupcakes are ADORABLE!! : )
M.L.

daiseymae said...

You never cease to amaze me. I love your insight. You inspire me to look for the good in the things around me. Thank you for sharing.

I too, hope for the sunshine that will come through the clouds, both for you and for me.

daiseymae said...

You never cease to amaze me. I love your insight. You inspire me to look for the good in the things around me. Thank you for sharing.

I too, hope for the sunshine that will come through the clouds, both for you and for me.

michelle said...

What a lovely post, womanhood is a wonderful thing isn't it? Congratulations on handling trials with grace and the recognition that they do have a purpose, it is so hard to remember that sometimes!

kris.cawley said...

What a beautiful post. It has left me teary. Love to you and your family.

Jenn said...

What we think about--- and THANK about---we bring about!!! I can tell you are a very grateful woman for the good in your life and I think the more you focus on the good the more good will keep showing up. I love your list! Thank you for sharing it.

Amber said...

I love your thoughts on sisterhood. I've been struggling lately myself and even went to a counseler and do you know what I got out of it... she was just another woman to share my burden with. She didn't tell me what to do or how to fix things, she just validated my feelings and told me everything I already knew before I went. So I've come to the conclusion that we need women in our lives... to lift us, to validate us, to share with, to cry with. You must be one of these great women!! You have lifted me today!!

Meemer said...

you are such a strong person,and such a great example. your post is beautiful!

Ashley said...

Hope you start feeling better! I love the new pictures of your girls! So cute!

Michelle said...

I hope life gets better for you soon! A beautiful post.

Bilary said...

Wow, that was awesome. You very eloquently described how you have been feeling lately without giving too much. I hope you really do see how many people absolutely adore you and are there for you. You are an amazing friend, mother, wife and example. I thank Heavenly Father every day for allowing me to have such an amazing friend. I couldn't make it without you.

And things WILL get better for you. Don't just hope for it, but believe it because it will happen. I know how strong you are and that we have to go through the "refiner's fire" to become strong. You can do this and you will come out on the other side stronger in your marriage, your testimony, and in knowing what a strength you are. Trust me. you can do this. And I'm always here for you to help you.