1.19.2008

Letter to the mom with the child acting like a brat in Joann's on Friday night.

Dear Mom with the DARLING Black Hat at Joann’s Last Night,


First of all, I want to tell you that I loved your hat. I wish I had the guts to wear hats. They scare me. Good for you.

Second, I want to tell you how proud I was of you when you were standing in line in front of me and your daughter started mouthing off to you that you took her treat away. You didn't cave and say “Okay, if you are nice, I will give it back.” Thank you!!! I was proud that you held your ground when your mom and your sister started telling her that she could have a second chance. I am proud that you told them no, she was rude and her behavior didn’t warrant another chance.

I was beaming when you handed that treat to the cashier and picked your daughter up and walked out. I could sense the embarrassment on your face when you knew people were looking at you, but you stood firm. You could have caved to the whims and demands of a writhing, sassing child, but you chose not to. I wanted to clap for you! I wanted to give you accolades!

Thank you for not using a sugary-sweet voice. That was a voice that let your child know she was in trouble. A voice that was firm and let her know that you were NOT playing games. You didn’t yell, but you weren’t afraid to be firm.

And I was proud.

You showed her there were consequences to every action.

She was in trouble and you weren’t afraid to let her know it. You weren’t afraid to hurt her feelings. She wasn’t being very respectful of yours, and you didn’t let her walk all over you with that.

You were a parent. A good parent.

When I went into the parking lot and you were wrestling with your sassing, screaming toddler telling her that this kind of behavior would get her nothing but trouble, I wanted to hug you. I wanted to squeeze you and tell you that it IS worth it. That you ARE doing the right thing. You are correcting a behavior now so that you don’t have to deal with it later. I wanted to hug you so badly.

Thank you for showing your daughter that you are in charge. I know it wasn’t easy or convenient, but YOU DID IT! You showed her that she is a child and that she is not capable of being in charge of herself. You guided her decision and showed her right from wrong.

And I was so proud.

I have seen far too many parents let their children run the show. For years I would go to work every day where I would see parents cave and give into their child’s every whim because discipline was either a word they had never learned, were afraid of, or were too tired to enforce. It almost made me never want to be a parent in fear of causing train wrecks like the ones I had to work with daily. You restored my faith that we won’t have a generation of spoiled, selfish, demanding, self-serving tyrants thinking they are entitled to anything and everything. ..well, at least some of them.

You are a good mom.


Love,
Me…the boss in my house as well.


Day 20...and boy are my fingers tired.

13 comments:

Melissa said...

I know a few parents who could take lessons from that mom! I've never been one to shy away from being firm with the kids. Some people think we are too tough on them, but I don't think so. They are happy, polite, sweet kids. Yeah, we still butt heads over things, but overall, we do well :)

The Rookie said...

Hal-a-freaking-loo-yuh!

I often wish I could have parents of young children come to my classroom and see what their children could REALLY turn out like if they keep on indulging them.

Nobody likes a teenager that talks back. So what's so cute about a two-year-old that does?

Gabriela said...

:) Nice post.

Linemoren said...

And I applaud you for your insight and Applauding of this mother!!! Good work! I too, in my line of work have seen a few parents who could take some advice on the subject!!! AWESOME BLOG!!!!!

LovingTheChaos said...

I did this once with my son at the Super Targette. He was pitching a major fit and so I took his toy away (like I had said I would before hand). I just let him scream and kick the whole while the young teenage girl was ringing my stuff up. I paid....gathered my bags and walked out of the store in a deliberate manner.

Two older store employees came up to me and hugged me...they actually hugged me and told me I was a good mom.

Not only do I think we each need to adopt an actual discipline model with our children...but I think we need to positively reinforce mother's doing it! It made me feel so good to know that another mother saw that I was trying to do the right thing for my son.

Now I just need to work on the whole consistency thing! ;)

SweetPea said...

I LOVE this post! It's wonderful to give each other pats on the back, and support for things that aren't always easy, but definitely important.

No Cool Story said...

YES!!!!
*clap clap clap*
We need more moms like that.

I hate the "if you don't stop that I won't buy you the toy..." repeated 50 times. UGH! I hate that.

JD said...

Sahwweeet! Good for her!

michelle said...

Oh, but fight those tired fingers, it is so fun for the rest of us! You do want to applaud when you see something like that don't you?

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

I love this post! Thank you! I hate it when people try to get me to cave into something other than what I just told my son to do. I feel like I am the only firm mom some days.

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

P.S. The princess' new photo on the side is gorgeous!

Chel said...

You could have been writing this to me the other day as I carried Jaxon out of Target (I won't shop at Wal-Mart :)) because he was throwing a fit. However, I didn't get looks of approval. It seemed the looks were more like I-can't-believe-she-is-leaving-her-cart and carrying-her-kid-out-screaming and won't-let-him-have-that-sucker or throw-things-on-the-ground look. I had stares that screamed at me, I am a big lame-o mom.

I say "whatevah" to them!

I have a good life said...

What a fun blog you have! That is a great post. And..being a Mom is hard. We have to really support each other when we do the right thing!