12.30.2007

RIP

Today marks a very sad day. The worst day. A day to be mourned for the rest of the year.

Today is the first day I will have to go without chocolate.

Little Squishy has been sad. Very sad. She is sad after I feed her, before I feed her, before she sleeps, after she sleeps and even during her favorite activity of all, her bath. Okay, not so much sad as more like royally pissed off.

Being as sleep deprived as I am, I didn't put one and one together. Mommy has been eating massive amounts of chocolate. Massive. We are talking at least four pounds all by myself during the month of December alone.

On Friday I decided to start a little experiment. I stopped eating chocolate. Saturday came and Little Squishy was fine. Happy, playing, smiling, talking. Fine. And then I fell. I buckled. That beautiful bag of Doves that DH had lovingly bestowed to me in my Christmas stocking called to me. Before I realized what I had done, I had eaten four pieces. FOUR! The next six hours were baby screaming hell. For four stinking pieces of choclate. Four. She cried, I cried, DH cried Okay, he really didn't. He was at work tying up some lose ends and I called him crying. Saying three were crying sounds so much better than just two.

This does not bode well for a woman who would glady let them open a chocolate IV in her arm if there was such a thing.

So it was decided. All of those yummy chocolates, all of those morsels from heaven will be devoured by my undeserving family, and not by yours truly. They don't do the laundry, make the meals, clean the toilets where their hineys sit. The undeserving louts get to stuff their sweet little faces while mommy sits here with the shakes and curses her very existence.

So please, offer up a prayer on behalf of my children and husband. They have chocolate in their blood. I may turn into a vampire. It is a case where I understand why some species eat their young.


Day One

9 comments:

The Rookie said...

That. Just. Plain. Sucks.

Gabriela said...

I hear you. My kids all have hated chocolate via breastmilk. I don't even like it that much, but knowing I couldn't have it just made it all the more tempting and I wasn't always the best at resisting it. Especially oreos.

GOOD LUCK!!!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I like spicy food especially my Papi's spicy black beans. My nursing babies always had major gas and big stinky blow-out diapers.

I didn't mind. It covered up my own nasty intestinal activities.

Maybe its time for me to have another one....

elasticwaistbandlady said...

See, looking at your super cute baby is stirring up those maternal feelings again.

Chel said...

hmmm... guess I'm glad I always bottle fed... haha

So sorry... but she sure is worth it, isn't she?? Maybe you can find something that tastes like chocolate... :)
I know, I'm no help!

Mel said...

This post is hysterical...

Oh, but I really am sorry for you:)

Cmommy said...

I'd eat chocolate for you, but I'm abstaining for other reasons--our Christmas photos revealed a larger 'me' than I like! (Your family is adorable, btw!!) I remember the breastfeeding food intake dilemma and I feel your pain :-)

brewcrew5 said...

OK, that would just not work for me. I feel your pain. I probably eat your share too. Hey it helps for dieting. I really need to try and stop my addiction with the yummy chocolate too.

itybtyfrog said...

I feel your pain!!! I just found out this week that baby H doesn't mind the chocolate...yipee!! My other ones sure hated it though. Give her a few more months and she shouldn't mind so much.