Guilt Makes Way For Gratitude

Things have been quite hard here in the For Better or For Worse household. I guess you can say they have been worse. I have been so sick with this baby. We're talking the can't get out of bed, can't eat a thing, completely dehydrated to the point my kidneys weren't functioning, having to go to the Dr's office to have IV's, completely non-functioning, throwing up 15+ times a day worse.

I don't know why, but in the mentality of women, it seems to be a common theme that we are always willing to give help, but to receive it? We would rather bury our head in the sand. I am a head-burying woman. In the past two weeks, I have been on the receiving end of such kind charity. I am so grateful for the kind words and gestures by so many friends and family. I am in tears writing this. My heart is brimming and I have to share the kindness that has been shown to me.

Today I am grateful for:

~My mother-in-law, who gave up her entire weekend to come and clean my house from top to bottom, who did every speck of laundry in my house, who set up a laundry system for my husband to stay on top of...all while I slept. She has taken my little one for days on end because I have been so unable to nurture her.

~My mom. She has researched all sorts of ways to help ease my nausea. She purchased all sorts of teas and supplements to try to help me get better. She has taken my girls for the weekend and showered them with love and affection. She calls every day to make sure I am feeling okay, she stops by to help me maintain my house. She is doing the same things for my little sister who is expecting a baby any day now.

~My sister and my sister-in-law who have both given up their time to help nurture my kids.

~My dear friend who takes my girls on almost a daily basis and feeds them home made meals. She calls at least twice a day to make sure that I am still alive. She has taken my daughter to school, she has been willing to do her hair, she has been their second mother. I am so grateful that they have her.

~Sweet, sweet ward members who with no prodding have shown up on my doorstep with homemade dinners for my family. My family has been able to eat meals that have been prepared with tender-loving care! They have no idea how much this means to me.

~My midwife and his office staff who have hooked me up to IVs, who are doing battle with my insurance company to help me get the drugs I need so I can function. My midwife has been so loving and kind. I heart him!

~My little girls who know Mommy is sick and who have stepped up to the plate. They are so quick to clean up a mess, to help Daddy out, and to give me hugs and kisses when I have spent hours leaning over the toilet.

~My sweet, sweet husband. Not only is he the dad right now, but he has also taken on the role of Mommy, chef, chief-childcare giver, laundry maid, maid and giver of all. He has not uttered one word of complaint. He continues to be at my beck and call. In the off chance that I can eat, he is always willing to run out to grab my tummy's desire. He escorts me to my Dr's appointments and waits the time it takes for them to rehydrate me. He picks up my many Rx's. He puts lotion on my feet at night. He runs all of the errands. Seriously a saint among men.

My heart is truly full...even if my belly isn't. I am a lucky, lucky woman. I am truly blessed.