So What.

Something has been on my mind a lot lately.

It has been since I read this post on Lee's blog

I am a self-described "Skinny Person in a Fat Person's body" I am not your size two, heck, I'm not even in a single digit size. You know what else? For the first time in my entire life, I am comfortable in my own skin. I have never in my life felt as proud of myself and of who I have become. I wear the physical results of my life on my belly and my hips. So what!

Maybe it is my raging hormones, or maybe I have just had enough. But I have had it with the world seeing women who are overweight as an eyesore. I am tired of hearing about how we should all look like the women of Hollywood who have money for personal trainers and nannies to watch their children so they can go to the gym. Heck, now they are just adopting babies so they don't have to even bear the scars of babies and mess up their money making machines.

I am fat




and I am angry.

Angry that having a flabby belly that has been stretched out from growing a person inside of you is considered gross. I am angry that the twenty pounds retained from growing from a teenage body to a woman's body is considered disgusting. I am angry when I hear of mothers who are telling their daughters that they are overweight and they could stand to lose a couple of pounds and now they have made their daughters afraid of gaining any weight. I am angry at men who think that a womans body shouldn't be curvy. I am angry that my daughters are growing up in a world where their self-worth is contingent on their dress size. I am angry when I hear my friends feeling like they should be starving themselves to be presentable. I am angry that I have felt that way in the past. I am angry that these women who have not born the heartaches, the trials, and the lives of ordinary citizens are touted as our ideals. I am angry that I worry about when I enjoy a bag of chips, a cookie or a donut that people will look at me with disgust and think that I should go without. I am angry that every time I turn on the computer or the television I see them portraying the heavy women of television as crazy and angry. Well yes. I think we have earned that right. We have been beat down and criticized and demeaned long enough.

I am angry.

I have very few pictures of myself on this blog. I have done that for a reason. I don't want to be judged on what I look like. I want you to like me or dislike me according to my thought processes, my personality and my sense of humor. It is a terrible thing that I even had to consider that.




I am a beautiful woman not in spite, but rather because of my weight. I care deeply about my children. I strive for their happiness. I am a loyal wife, daughter, friend and sister. I pray and hope for others happiness. I have beautiful skin. I have beautiful hair. I love my eyes. I have good taste. I am creative. I am talented. I have been through terrible trials with grace and dignity. I forgive others easily. I am concerned for the welfare of others. I have grown two beautiful girls. I am working on the third. I have been pregnant or nursing or on medication of some sort since 2000. I have have a size 14/16 body. I wear it proudly.