8.02.2007

Modesty

I haven't been blog-hopping in what seems like ages. Life does that to you sometimes. Today though, I got on the computer and decided to check around. I miss my online life. While in the process I stumbled upon this post at Emma's blog. I wanted to stand up on my chair and give her a standing ovation. It is worth your time to read it. She is a kindred spirit when it comes to children and modesty.

I have daughters. We only make one flavor at this house. Do you know how often it crosses my mind that there are creeps out there who look at children in an evil and vile way? It scares the living daylights out of me. I have tried to instill in them a sense of modesty and pride. I want them to view their persons as sacred and special. I worry what boys are thinking when they look at them. I want them to be an example of all that is good and pure in this world, and not just another girl for some boy to drool over.

What are your rules for modesty? I would never want to impose my standards on another because we all think differently and our scales are all slightly different. Sometimes I feel like I am old fashioned because I will see kids my daughters age and they seem so much older. I will doubt myself for a moment and then realize that I am giving my child the priceless gift of a childhood.

In our house the rules are as follows:

~No make-up until they are 12
~No earrings until they are 7/8 and then only small ones. No dangle earrings until they are 15
~No short shorts. They have to come to their fingertips
~No sleeveless clothing. Sure, they have sundresses...but those sundresses are just as darling with a little white t-shirt under them. Infants are my only exception to this rule. If I had a baby born in the heat of summer, I would put them in an outfit with no sleeves.
~Nothing that shows their belly. Shorts, shirts, bathing suits included. I used to say "No two-pieces, but have since realized that some tankini's are more modest than a one-piece. My favorite swimsuit I have ever purchased my daughter was a two-piece that had a long top with sleeves and a mock-turtleneck collar and board shorts. I was really concerned about sunburns at the time, but the modesty issue was a definite plus
~No shirts or pants that have anything not becoming to a little one. I don't think it is appropriate to have a child or a teenager wear anything that has a derogatory statement on it.

Excessive to some...maybe. Old fashioned...maybe. I follow the same rules. With the exception that my shorts are even longer than theirs. Sometimes I feel alone. Today I discovered I am not. There is a large and gaining popularity movement out there. "Moms for Modesty" is it's name.

I was so grateful to find this site, to link this site, to share this site. I hope you find their thoughts as intriguing as I did.

13 comments:

Kelli said...

I totally agree. I have a 14 year old, who is amazingly modest. Some of our rules:

1) No makeup (except a bit of coverup til 15.

2) No dangling earrings til 15.

3) No dating til 16.

4) Talk tops are fine, if cut correctly and can fully cover her b*r*a.

5) No spaghetti straps after she started needing a b*r*a unless there is an appropriate undergarment sown in.

6) No short shorts- same rule as yours.

7) Any lowcut shirt (3 fingers below the collarbone) needs a tank or tee under it.

8) No printed slogan tees, unless it's appropriate and printed on the back.

She's embraced the rules and really not given us any guff about it. I'm sincerely proud of her.

utmommy said...

It is so hard these days. I'm too am surprised at all the immodesty that these young girls are encouraged to wear.

Great post.

Tori :) said...

Your rules are the same as our rules- minus the earrings. Isabel got her's when she was 3 and Liv got her's pierced at 4 months.
It's hard because my step-daughters come with clothes that I wouldn't let Isabel wear so I have to enforce it with them. We end up buying them a new swimsuit every visit...

Amber said...

Ours are pretty similar to yours. I'm not entirely sure about makeup yet. I figure we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We specialize in girls as well. Scares me to death most days.

I've been wondering how you're doing. When are you due?

kanga5 said...

As a mother to 3 boys I just want to say that I am PRAYING that there are moms out there that will hold the above and before mentioned standards for their girls. I worry about what my sons will have to look at and have in their faces at all ages. My boys will need to be able to find "your" kind of girls to date someday. Thank you for teaching them and I'll do my best to make sure that that is what my boys respect and look for. :) And the standards I will have for my daughter to be. :)

Heidi said...

I agree too. Especially on our way to having a little girl now - I'm due in 12days yikes! It's an entirely new set of worries and I'm sure we'll come up with rules very similar to these! Thanks!

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

Excellent post! If I had girls, I would be enforcing the same rules. They were similar at my house growing up.

It's awesome you are giving your girls that "priceless gift of childhood."

itybtyfrog said...

We have similar rules as well. I have even been trying to teach my girls to modestly dress their dolls. M even colored sleeves on one of the girls in her BARBIE coloring book because she wasn't modest...that was a proud moment as a mother...yes! she gets it! It is so important to start when they are little so immodest clothing never feels right on them when they get bigger.

Olivia said...

Yay for you! I was just thinking about this today. I was looking at some of the girls in church and wondering what T would think about things like that some day.

I want my son to be respectful and have respectful thoughts towards girls his age. I do not want girls who dress immodestly to be hang out around him. Keeping thoughts pure is hard enough without all the visual stimulation.

Emma Sometimes said...

HELLO!! I'm so glad you are back in blogland.

Thanks for the kudos. It been on the brain since hearing of Bratz the Movie coming out. ~ug~

SO glad to see your happy smiley flower icon!

Suzanne said...

Great post, Stephanie! I don't think you're old fashioned at all. If I ever have a girl, our rules will be much the same as yours! :)

My boys don't wear sleeveless shirts and they don't run around shirtless unless they are at the pool.

Gabriela said...

Hey Steph! great post. I only have one girl who is incredibly modest-she won't wear shorts that don't go to her knees and won't wear a swimsuit that isn't a one piece. I am praying she stays that way forever!!!

You are not old fashioned at all-it is so important to start when they are young than trying to impose it on them when they are teens.

Jennie said...

love this post!

i don't have any children, but i appreciate the rule of modesty. i work with the youth in my church and the modest talks never can get over done...

thanks!