7.20.2006

Late Night Thoughts

My kids are spending the night with their grandparents again tonight. I have realized how much I love their presence. My time with them lately has been frustrating. I don't know how to get M to stop tattling (sp?) and how to make T listen. When they are here, I feel like it is a constant battle I can't win. It is two against one, my odds aren’t that great. When they are gone, my heart feels different.

After our non-bonfire Enrichment night (the wind wouldn't stop). I walked around to clean up my house and it shocked me that there were no messes for me to put away. I almost cried. I thought about how sad it would be if there was no indication that children lived here. How sad would it be to have no one run up to tell on their little sister because she was really just looking out for her in the first place. How sad if my little T wasn't here to not listen to me. How sad if all of the bookshelves in my house were filled with my grown-up stuff instead of art supplies, games, stuffed animals, dolls and an array of h@ppy meal toys. I missed the messes. I missed the noise. I missed my kids.

How would I feel if all of a sudden one of them was no longer with me?

On Sunday a little girl in my state went missing. A little girl that is the same age as my oldest. A little girl that still holds her mom's hand when she crosses the street. Every possible thought went through my head. Was she terrified? Was she safe? What if she were crying? How are her mom and dad even breathing?

I hugged my girls tighter that night...and each night since.

When I am frustrated with a phase that my girls are going through, my mom tells me that I just don't realize how short it is. I think it is time I listened to her.

I think I will hug my mom too.

19 comments:

utmommy said...

That is such a sweet post!! My kids have been fighting so much lately it drives me crazy. But, I don't know what my life would be without them. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

THANK YOU for putting it in perspective for me today. Yesterday I was listening to my two little boys roughhouse and fight in the backseat, thinking, I can either yell at them and I'll have to keep yelling at them till we get home, or I can just endure it until someone draws blood. It occurred to me that there are days that you "survive" motherhood and you can't do better than that.

Now, after reading your post, I want to go hug all my babies.

itybtyfrog said...

Great post, so touching. I am definately out numbered at my house! But I wouldn't trade my sweet little girls for anything! I love their laughs, their constant singing, their little hands in mine, their pictures they color for me, how they snuggle against me when we read stories, and especially the funny little things they say. Time does go by so fast...I need to cherish these moments more (except for those screaming fits...I don't think I will ever miss those). Thanks for the thought provoking post.

LynAnne said...

The nights when the little ones are away at grandparents are so bitter sweet. On one hand it's nice to have some time to yourself, but on the other, the house just doesn't feel right. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for parents once their children leave the nest.

Thank you so much for reminding us to enjoy our children even during the difficult moments. I can't imagine the horror those parents must be going through right now. I'm going to give my kids an extra hug today as well.

Thanks also for visiting my blog! I've bookmarked yours and will be back soon to read some more.

Char said...

Thanks for the reminder! That picture is SO sweet.

Gina said...

I love this post! You are such a sweet mother! That photo at the end is priceless. Your neighborhood looks beautiful too.

Darlin', it takes a lot to hurt my feelers... don't you ever worry about that. Yes, you must have been on the same wavelength as the tour of homes... you did it just right and that is why I thought you turned your project in early.

abc momma said...

Thanks for this insight.

I felt this way after being away from my husband for 5 days. I realized how much I need and want him.

I hope the rest of your activity went well enough.

Tori :) said...

I know exactly what you mean. This summer 3/5 of my kiddos were in Texas for 6 weeks. My heart ached for them!! Now they are back and my 2 step-daughters are here and even though at the end of the day I'm about to pull my hair out, I wouldn't want it any other way.

Cmommy said...

Good morn', Stephanie! (yes, my 13 yr-old looks 16)

I have a plethora of "stuff"--blankies, baby dolls, animals, toys, books--that little by little I either store in a safe box or finally give away. Yes, the time is swift. Five years ago, Jordan was born...five years from now, Aaron will leave for college.

Breathtaking. C

Nikkie said...

That is such a great post! The one time I let Boo stay the night at his Grandma's was so strange for me! I couldn't sleep with out knowing he was safe in his crib, and I even managed to not sleep in, but get up extra early so I could go get him! It really does go by too fast!

modernmama said...

You're so right. I needed that reminder as I'm sitting here with two baby girls that are fussy, and a little boy that needs some dinner! I wouldn't trade it either, for anything else in the world!

Charla said...

yes, thank you for that reminder. My heart goes out to the family of that little girl. Please keep us posted on it! Take care!

Kara Elmore said...

OH - now THAT is beautiful! I'm feeling the same way! And I also realize how blessed I am to be able to stay at home with them. I had to work for Nate the other day and came home to a clean house -and realized my home would be clean if I worked all day because no one would be there to mess it up. But how grateful I am to have 2 children to mess it up and hug at night. A double blessing to me.

Dawnyel said...

I think I needed this! Thank you for reminding me that we truly have such a short window of time when they WANT to be with us, and that it really should be spend snuggling, and hugging...no matter what! :)

aquamarine said...

I think I will cry first for being a bad mom this week, and tomarrow I am declaring a holiday for me and the kids. Only fun stuff!!! (Making sure to get as many squeezes and kisses in!)

txmommy said...

did they find her?

beth said...

You've put everything in perspective so perfectly.

I feel for that family. Are they breathing yet, I wonder. I see on your post above that there is no news. I can't imagine.

Jettara said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bon said...

yeahhh.... that little girl gone has me freakin' a bit too...

Still, I can't imagine having that much silence. and peace.