5.16.2006

Bad Energy

I am having a dark cloud, bad energy, negativity attracting type of day. I am hoping by putting it out there into blogland that it will flow out of my finger tips and out of me. So thank you all of blog world, for helping bear my burden.

I just can't seem to get going today. T woke up about six times last night to come and snuggle in our bed. I think it was all the sugar from her cake and ice cream. I felt like I had a newborn again. No sleep equals a dead-in-the-water mommy.

I was backing out of our garage yesterday and I cut it too close to the opening. Do you know why they call them breakaway mirrors? The casing for the mirror is back in place, but the actual mirror is hanging by a wire and now attached with duct-tape. I will forever more pay attention to the notice on the mirror that says "objects are closer than they appear." No kidding.

I am obsessing about things that are bothering me. Someone said this, somone did that, when so-and-so does this it makes me nuts. AGGGHHH!!!! Out, out damn thoughts!!!! (Whoops, please pardon my French)

I have a friend that is going through a rough patch, and has been for about five months. I love being there and being her confidant, but I feel like her negativity is taking it's toll(She is no one in the blogging world). I feel like I am joining her somewhat in her feelings of dispair and self-distruction.

I am in a rut when it comes to my church calling. I am out of ideas on where to take my class from here. I don't know what to do captivate them. I think this signals burnout. There must be something left for me to learn. I have learned NOT to pray for patience, Heavenly Father will give you reason to develop some.

I planted flowers yesterday. My legs hurt. I love doing things like that, but my rarely used, squatting leg muscles don't.

We had family over yesterday. I put too much pressure on myself when family comes. I have this crazy, completely ridiculous need for perfection when they come over. I know they don't expect that of me, so why do I expect it from me? It always ends with me being stressed and exhausted.

I have a stain on my carpet. It won't go away. Die stain, DIE!!!

I feel like I can't stay on top of my house. I sit here looking at the residuals from T's family birthday party and I don't know where to start...so I blog.


PHEW!!! It is out. I feel a little better already.


To counter all of the negative, I need to tell you all the things that make me happy today.

-T started singing the ABC song...a two-year old warbling a song with a pacifier clenched out of the side of her mouth is enough to make the most hard-nosed person crack a smile.

-My DH. He is so good to me. He tries so hard to make my life easier. Anyman who asks me each morning how he can lighten my load and make my day easier, while I am still in pajamas with yesterdays mascara smeared under my eyes, is a winner.

-I have kept my houseplant alive long enough for it to need to be repotted again. If you knew my history with house plants, you would understand why this merits a medal, or a trophy. Hey! At least a certificate proclaiming me no longer a murderer when it comes to my green counterparts.


-Ibuprofen...the magic elixer that is warding off the headache that is lurking in my brain.

-Millie. She woke up, got her self dressed, did her hair, made her bed and got herself breakfast. All while I snoozed. I have got it made when it comes to her. No parent should have it so good!

-Central Air conditioning...need I say more.

-Pajama pants. Nuf said.

-Strawberry Shortcake DVD's...manna from heaven when I just don't feel like raising my children.

-My camera. I never really learned how to use it, but I cherish every overexposed funny colored, out-of-focus, fingerprint on the lens shot.

-A good br@ (avoiding goog1e searches). Do I really need to explain this?

-The "Do Not Disturb" function on my phone. Everything gets routed to the machine. Lucky me.


-Quiet. Ahhhhhh. A sound I haven't heard in a long time. M's at school, T is down for her nap. J is studying for a Microsoft certification test, the phone is not disturbing me. The only sound is the tickity-tapping of the keyboard and the hum of my frigidare. No demands, no whining, no needs to meet. Ahhhhhh.

Thank you, oh thank you my online friends. You helped make my burdens light. I feel so much better now. I think I might go and help myself to some chocolate.

14 comments:

ABC Momma said...

Chocolate? I just tried the DQ brownie dough blizzard. It's divine.

I do the same thing when family comes over. STRESS.

Rachelle said...

Hugs to you! It's good to get out all the negative stuff. And you also managed to focus on good stuff too. Now that takes character! Take some time for yourself and recharge.

smartmama said...

oh it was a 5 hrs of interrupted sleep last night dead in twater here too--

Lei said...

Make that a lot of chocolate, because you deserve it honey!

We are here for your venting pleasure anytime you need it!

Maine Mom said...

Chocolate is always good!
I read your MLM and this post, your hubby sounds like a keeper!
I'm glad you're getting some quiet time...I hope that helps you to recharge. I'm impressed that you were able to include positive with the negative :-)

Gabriela said...

I can relate to so much of your post! Your car incident-totally something I would do. Kid wanting to snuggle at night-got one. Obsessing-sure, needy friend-got one. Church calling- major rutlast month-but now I only have 6 weeks left until I am released and leave our struggling little branch forever to join a ward IN ENGLISH that has been described as being full of "alpha-mormons" . (doing a little dance right about now)

I also kill house plants and LOVE a good bra.

Have a great day!

itybtyfrog said...

Oh Steph, I am sorry you are having one of those days...I have been having one of those weeks...not even chocolate sounds inviting. Sorry about your mirror...I hit our garage with our too...OOPS!! I think you deserve the day off...leave all the party remnants behind and come to my house! Way to go thinking of the positive when you are feeling so negative...that is always so hard to do. Sending you a great big hug!

Nettie said...

I'm sorry you are having such a rough day. It sounds like you know how to kick it: some ibuprofen and sympathetic ears(ours) followed by a focus on the positive and some chocolate. I couldn't have written a better prescription myself!

Dawnyel said...

It seems like you handled your stress way better than I did. Maybe I'll take a page from your book....CHOCOLATE, baby!!

ShelahBooksIt said...

The bad definitely comes with some good. Glad you have both sides of the coin.

Jen3 @ Amazing Trips said...

Oh, a DND feature on your phone ... wow - - I could use one of those! It annoys me to no end that our phone rings 45 minutes in to naptime and the babies wake up ... when they SHOULD be sleeping for another hour. I've resorted to taking the phone off the hook - but always forget to put it back on. Then, I get frustrated with my DH that he forgot to call on the way home from work to see if there was anything he needed to pick up at the store. Which turns to frustration against myself - - and then I, too, eat chocolate.

Yep. Everybody has "DAYS" like that. It does help to put your thoughts out to the world. Or ... world wide web, as the case may be.

Thanks for visiting me the other day! :)

Pattie said...

Good for you for being able to see the glass as half full, even on a bad day. :)
After all the venting, I hope you feel better!

Kara Elmore said...

I'm so glad you got it all out. I had someone do this to me once - for a while, and it did take it's toll. She's sucking it out of you, and you just can't give anymore. This will help. And counting your positives will too!

LammyAnn said...

awww I hate weeks like that! Chocolate is always a great prescription.
As for the Primary slump...have you tried www.theideadoor.com ?
As for your mirror...we had a similar experience and just superglued the hanging mirror part back in and voila' no ductape! :)
I do the same with my family and friends---so I have no helps there... except to say those lil clorox/lysol wipes are da bomb in a pinch.
And-life can all be worked out with a good bra, pj pants, and AC!!! :)OH! And the blog of course! :)

Thanks for visiting me---i enjoy reading your stuff.. :)